A whole week gone

So it has been a whole week since I posted last. I feel bad about that, but over all I feel better as long as I don't meds all the time.....weird..... So I am taking only my antidepressants and my husband said that I am much more user friendly and easier to talk to now.......that is good. Nothing to exciting going on for now, but that will change soon I am sure.

Looooooooong weeeeeekend

So this Sunday evening finds me feeling much better as I went to see my lovely md. She increased my depression meds and told me that if they don't work this time, it is time to go see a shrink????????? Are you serious. ok so I am following her orders and so far so good. We will see in time how it goes. In the mean time, my husband and I have really reconnected, re communicated and talked alot. It makes things so much better when we are on the same page that is for sure. As for pain, well everyday starts at a 5 with 10 being the worst...somedays it becomes and 8 most days are 5 to 6. That is definately today 5. But tomorrow is a new day. Maybe pain will be a 4....there is always hope.

I am a B*&^%

So today my lovely husband decided to let me know in really nice way that I am acting like a B*&^%....that being said, I am on my way to the doctor to ensure that I am taking the appropriate amount of medicine. I am truly heart broken in so many ways I can't even tell you. I feel angry because everyone in his family thinks I am a bitch, and no one wants to talk to me or always thinks I am angry at them. I have no idea what to do or where to go. I wanna run away and not come back, that is not the answer. So to strive on is the only way to survive. I hate when this syndrome gets to me like this. Sometimes I want to jump off a cliff. I think sometimes life would be so much easier for everyone if I wasn't here. But I have to keep going, I can't stop. I have to look at the good stuff, so I don't break down any more. This SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another wonderful week

It was an extremely busy weekend, so I wasn't able to post. I do have a couple more things to share. I think I have a new reaction to my narcotic pain meds.....itchiness as well as feeling more up tight, and headache...however, if I take a muscle relaxer in addition, it doesn't help me relax at all. I causes me to dream to the point of almost like hallucinations... I have enough issues without all that going on. So no more of those meds. Gotta stick to something much more simple. Loved being outside and noticing the amazing colors on the trees...beautiful. It makes me thankful to actually be alive. Something I don't experience often nowadays. Hope you all have a blessed week.

Happy Friday to all this Holloween weekend. I had so many things to do yesterday that time got away from me. So this morning, since I have a terrible headache and I am waiting for my meds to start working, I thought I would post a couple of things that I have noticed about my syndrome.
1. Can't multitask like I used to. This wouldn't be so bad, if I didn't ever have anything to do, however, since I have 3 growing girls, a wonderful husband, and prefer to eat at home every night then things would be different. Not to mention the every breeding laundry pile. I can no longer hear the needs of my daughters, comprehend and put into order the way they need to be answered, without having to ask them again and again, what was it that you needed. Dinner is a whole issue in itself. Three pans going last night 'bout ran me into the ground. Crazy.

2. Mornings are by far the best for me. Once noon hits, it is nothing but downhill from there. Heaven forbid I try to do something like go shopping with my sister or something in the am, then I am whoooooooooooppppppped for sure.

This may seem trivial to some but it is very humbling to say the least, as well as frustrating compared to the way things use to be. I know I shouldn't look back, but it is difficult when the girls and I were so active, now reduced to nothing it seems. My how 1 thing can change your life forever.

Hope you all have a wonderful day/weekend.

I haven't posted for 2 days, but today was better. Rested and did a few things. I am finding that things are more tolerable if I go out of the house. Amazing how that works. Didn't eat a whole lot today, maybe because I don't feel hungry when I feel bad. Love the weather, although I am not wearing enough clothing to keep me warm, gotta do that tomorrow for sure. Hope you all are having a blessed week.

Blue Monday

So I wanted to post something earlier, because I was feeling a little normal. So as the day progressed so did my pain, more achiness today, than localized pain. So much so that I actually broke down in front my husband and girls. This is not very normal for me. I am the type that hides the severe pain from my family, as I would prefer to shield them from what I can. That being said, my children do know that I have this syndrome, they are aware of pain, as to what extent that is where I hide it. No it is not fair, but life is not fair. These are the cards that I and my family have been dealt. What we choose to do with it, that will make us stronger and more of a conquerer. Thank goodness tomorrow is a new day. Hopefully it will be better.